Both of it is a very strong emotion but what is a love-hate relationship? Is it possible that you can feel love for your partner in one moment and hate them the next? Or both at the same time. Does your partner give you all the support in the world on one day and then appear to recoil from you the next? Find out the signs of a love-hate relationship.
The Opposite of Love is Not Hate
Many people make the mistake of thinking that the two emotions are on the opposite end of the love scale. This is not true. The opposite to love is indifference. Love must, by definition include caring; indifference does not. It is possible to hate someone for their behavior, but to care about them deeply at the same time. Ask any mother of a difficult or wayward teenager.
An interesting fact is that when murderers are asked why they killed their wife, many say, “Because I loved her.” That is the case far more often than, “Because I hated her.” Therefore we might assume that being loved intensely by someone is far more dangerous than being hated.
13 Signs You Are in a Love-Hate Relationship
Can a Love-Hate Relationship Work?
A love-hate relationship can last a long time and usually does. This is because both partners are addicted to the emotional turmoil. When you are apart, everything seems dull and gray because they are not there. The relationship is a complex cocktail of narcotic-like emotion. Yet, like narcotic drugs, a love-hate relationship is always toxic. Neither partner is able to be at their best at work, or socially, because the relationship is like a millstone that has to be carried around.
Counseling may help a love-hate relationship. You will learn how to build and expand the areas of the partnership that work well and manage the issues with coping strategies. It really depends on whether both partners want it to succeed.
When to Get Out of a Love-Hate Relationship
Areas to Work on in a Love-Hate Relationship
If your relationship is to work, then certain areas must be addressed.
Commitment. If only one is committed to the relationship, it’s not going to work, so both partners have to be 100 percent certain that they want this.
Trust. If you or your partner experience intense feelings of jealousy, then this must be examined and dealt with. No relationship is able to survive the constant battering of jealousy.
Forgiveness. Learning how to forgive, forget and move on is so important. Should one or both continually refer back to past misdemeanors, it creates a poisonous atmosphere. Letting the past go, is key to making a go of it.
Compassion and empathy. If this is love, then you have to care how the other person is feeling. You have to realize what effect your words and behavior are having. If, in the heat of the moment, you could care less, then perhaps you are not as committed as you thought you were.
Time for yourself. It’s a human necessity to pursue friendships, activities and relaxation away from the other partner. Not only that, when you have a healthy life outside of the relationship, both partners are able to bring freshness to the other. You are not constantly tied together in a stale, toxic bond. All relationships need space in order to change, evolve, grow and adapt. That’s how they last for a lifetime.